Note: This is a note I've posted on Facebook on May 31, 2010. I just though of sharing it with you guys.
*Over the past few months, I have experienced tragedy after tragedy. It's as if there's no ending to this misery in my heart.
*Last night, I dreamed about Daddy and Tatay. My dad's alive in there. He's ALIVE! I was crying, and clinging onto him. I wanted to see my dad. I wanted to tell him that I LOVE HIM. I wanted to say that I REALLY AM SORRY.
*I'd rather be the poorest amongst the poor, if that's the price to pay to complete my family once again. I miss the old times. Times of pain and sorrow. But those were also times of completeness. We used to be complete, but because of that stupid Chronic Cardiorespiratory Arrest, I am now living the life that I never, ever in my entire life, wildly dreamed about.
*Had I known that he was about to be taken away from us, I should have stayed by his side. I should have comforted my dad. But I was in a mall, enjoying with my friends, not even knowing what's waiting for me once I get home.
*I promised myself that I will give Nanay and Tatay the life that they have yet to experience. I wanted to give them happy memories while they're still here. But Tatay already left us. It can't be helped.
*When Tatay was brought to the hospital because he was getting weaker by the minute, I tried visiting him. But once again, my moronic fear prevented me from doing so. I was afraid that the same thing might happen all over again. I wanted to see him, but why do I have to act stupid in times like that?
*Barely three months have passed since my Dad, well, died. I was awakened by my cousin's troubled voice over the phone. My greatest fears at that time turned into reality.
*January 8, 2010. April 9, 2010. These are two dates that I shall never forget. Not because of happy memories, but because of a great wave of pain, unfathomable pain.
*I want to do everything. To have a good job. To be financially stable. I want to help my family to move on with our lives.
*I want to find a job. NOW. I do not want to be a financial burden anymore. In two days' time, I will be twenty years old. But I am scared to combine school and work. I am scared to take a lot of responsibility.
*I have no time to be scared right now. I have to be strong. I just have to. But sometimes, I just can't take it anymore. I have my own limits, you know.
*Two days from now, I will have my first birthday without Daddy and Tatay.
*They say that nineteen is the most dangerous age, but for me, it is the saddest of all ages.
*You might think that this is just the birthday blues that's gotten into me. But if one experiences birthday blues everyday, well I guess you're correct.
*Over the past few months, I have experienced tragedy after tragedy. It's as if there's no ending to this misery in my heart.
*Last night, I dreamed about Daddy and Tatay. My dad's alive in there. He's ALIVE! I was crying, and clinging onto him. I wanted to see my dad. I wanted to tell him that I LOVE HIM. I wanted to say that I REALLY AM SORRY.
*I'd rather be the poorest amongst the poor, if that's the price to pay to complete my family once again. I miss the old times. Times of pain and sorrow. But those were also times of completeness. We used to be complete, but because of that stupid Chronic Cardiorespiratory Arrest, I am now living the life that I never, ever in my entire life, wildly dreamed about.
*Had I known that he was about to be taken away from us, I should have stayed by his side. I should have comforted my dad. But I was in a mall, enjoying with my friends, not even knowing what's waiting for me once I get home.
*I promised myself that I will give Nanay and Tatay the life that they have yet to experience. I wanted to give them happy memories while they're still here. But Tatay already left us. It can't be helped.
*When Tatay was brought to the hospital because he was getting weaker by the minute, I tried visiting him. But once again, my moronic fear prevented me from doing so. I was afraid that the same thing might happen all over again. I wanted to see him, but why do I have to act stupid in times like that?
*Barely three months have passed since my Dad, well, died. I was awakened by my cousin's troubled voice over the phone. My greatest fears at that time turned into reality.
*January 8, 2010. April 9, 2010. These are two dates that I shall never forget. Not because of happy memories, but because of a great wave of pain, unfathomable pain.
*I want to do everything. To have a good job. To be financially stable. I want to help my family to move on with our lives.
*I want to find a job. NOW. I do not want to be a financial burden anymore. In two days' time, I will be twenty years old. But I am scared to combine school and work. I am scared to take a lot of responsibility.
*I have no time to be scared right now. I have to be strong. I just have to. But sometimes, I just can't take it anymore. I have my own limits, you know.
*Two days from now, I will have my first birthday without Daddy and Tatay.
*They say that nineteen is the most dangerous age, but for me, it is the saddest of all ages.
*You might think that this is just the birthday blues that's gotten into me. But if one experiences birthday blues everyday, well I guess you're correct.
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