Yes, Yes I Am

“Are you gay?” This is a question that I used to dread, especially when asked directly to me.  A simple question that requires a simple answer. But now, I feel the need to voice out my sentiments on the matter, not that I’m hiding anything. I consider this as a sensitive topic, for it encompasses my entire being, my entire existence.

One question, asked millions of times, summarized into seven different answers.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes, I’m gay, but I’m not a beautician, hairdresser, makeup artist, or parlorista for that matter. I have nothing against the profession, but I am a computer engineer, thank you very much. I write programs, solder electronic components to make circuits, I lift,  clean, troubleshoot, and maintain workstations, printers and other peripherals, and I eat malware for breakfast. What a “real man” can do, I've been doing it for ages. And don’t underestimate me just because I don’t look techie enough for you – I know better.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes, I’m gay, and I am not inferior to you. Most, if not, all the time, gays end up as pioneers on almost every field of expertise you can think of. I desire success not for myself, but for my family, so they can live a better life. Endless nights of overtime duty and mountains of tasks to be done are nothing compared to the joy in their faces.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes,  I’m gay, but it doesn't mean that I’ll devour the closest man in the vicinity, like what most people think of. It hurts me to look at their stupid disgusted faces when I get to seat right next to them in public transportation. That’s just plain insane! As a child, I've been a victim of sexual abuse, so I know that feeling – and I vow to myself that I will never let anyone experience that same thing.

Temptation? I think I’ll pass. I’m not to accept every “offer”, or “do it” with every man I meet. I, too, have standards. I am not, and will never be, a pervert. Why? Because I was not raised to act in such manner. Yes, I appreciate the beauty of men, and that’ts it. I believe in true love, not lust, and I am confident enough to say that. I believe in God, and I have faith in Him.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes, I’m gay, and it’s not a mental disorder nor something that needs to be corrected. Time and again, it has been proven that homosexuality is as normal as it can get. It exists not just on human beings, but on the majority of animals in this planet. Please, don’t force people like me to undergo therapy, or worse, join the military. You can’t do anything about it, and you’re not supposed to do anything about it, either. It’s not a matter of choice – it’s a matter of learning and embracing one’s identity, and gain respect from the rest of the world.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes, I’m gay, but I don’t live up to the name all the time. I have feelings too. Behind every smile and laughter is fear of rejection and discrimination brought by this cruel world. You think that it’s alright for me to be called “fag”, “drag”and everything else? Names, labels, stereotypes: call it whatever you want, but I’m over with it. I’m sick and tired of dealing with those little demons. I might just punch you in the face, should you try to call me names.

Yes, it’s hard to live such a challenging life, but It doesn't stop me from celebrating life at its best. Like Dr. Doofenshmirtz, I have loads of back stories that are worth a 2-part drama special on a prime time slot, but I choose to be happy. I choose to be gay.

Q: Are you gay?

A: Yes, I’m gay, but I am man enough to share my two cents – my side of the story – to everyone. The next time you meet someone like me, remember that there’s more to homosexuality than meets the eye.

Q: Are you gay?

A: As Phineas would say, “Yes, yes I am.”

Networked Society: Are We Really Getting More?

This is my official entry to TechPinas.com Gadget Bonanza BlackBerry Power Pair Edition.

A networked society - are we there yet?

A networked society - that's the world that we're in right now. Or at least, that's where we're heading to. Doing business with people halfway across the globe, communicating with friends from faraway lands: all of this would not be possible without the technology that we enjoy. With the dawn of different devices (laptops, smartphones, tablets), comes the different ways of doing business. It gives us the freedom to do business without sacrificing your personal time; the power to choose when to do it, where to do it, and how to do it is in our fingertips. Amazing, really, how this changed the course of the entire human race. The word 'mobile' has become a household term for quite sometime now, backing up the fact that everyone is willing to be included in the society.

Still, one question lurks at the back of my mind: am I really getting the most out of what I have right now? Am I completely a part of the networked society?

A Win-Win Situation - Who Doesn't Want One?

Multitasking: people of purpose do it

As an engineer who works for an antivirus company, I have always been keen into details. From the smallest of tasks, to the most difficult decision-making scenarios, I take time to look for a win-win situation; making sacrifices is a no-no for me, as much as possible. The same goes with my personal activities. For instance, it took me weeks (even months) of continuous research and feedback-gathering to actual users before I decided to buy myself my very first laptop. The same goes with my very first smartphone. Making the most out of my hard-earned money is definitely part of the deal.

Somehow, I managed to do my work without sacrificing my personal time and effort with the aid of my laptop and smartphone. Still, there are times that they failed to aid you when you needed them most. A proposal left undone because my laptop broke down, or the moment that I needed to contact my boss ASAP, but couldn't because my phone is acting up on me. Although this is tolerable for me, but what if it involves life and death? Would that be the case, still?

And here I am, back to square one. I've been checking all the possibilities for my next smartphone. Although I'm quite happy with what I have now, I can't take chances on that one. I'd rather use it as a backup phone. The search for the real smartphone is on - but how will I know which one to choose?

A Symbol of Strength

Blackberry Curve 8520

I first stumbled upon the word Blackberry around two years ago; a college friend of mine just got her Blackberry Curve 8520. At first, I thought that it's just a phone people use to exercise their bragging rights, but when I got the chance to actually use it, one word came into my mind: strength - in terms of its performance - you'll notice its difference as compared to others, delivering the services that you need, just as it says on the advertisements.

A symbol of strength, a Blackberry smartphone is. By providing connectivity anytime and anywhere, Research In Motion, the company behind this one-of-a-kind smartphone/companion, has retained loyal clients. These clients are the people of purpose - people that value work and personal life, juggling their way through both paths at the same time. Getting work done with colleagues, and staying connected with loved ones at the same time - who doesn't want that?

The Race - Are You Up For It?

It's inevitable - we are all part of the race. I consider myself as a person of purpose, and I intend to finish the race towards a fully achieved networked society, where everyone has the power to choose what's best for them. Having that in mind, I want to get more out of the technology offers to us right now, and I am confident that Blackberry will help me in achieving that goal.

So, how about you?Are you up for it? Are you well equipped? Don't be left behind!

One, Two, Stomp!

Stomp your feet to the beat! For many, dancing is a disciplined art, expressing one's emotions through articulated body movements. Be it classical, modern, or ethnic, people love to dance the night away. Also, dancing is considered one of the best ways to do exercise, making use of all body parts to burn those unwanted fat.

I myself had a fair share of embarrassing moments dance performances, back in grade school. Showing off my dancing prowess is not an easy thing to do - especially when I realized that I really have no dancing skills at all (believe me!).

The irony of it all! How about us who can't dance? 

Pump It Up: Hope for Humanity

Pump It Up Fiesta, released in 2010

Technological advancements paved the way for new ways of enjoying simple activities. As for dancing, several dance arcade machines came into existence. One of the most widely known and successful dance arcade machines is Pump It Up, or simply PIU, developed by Nexcade and released by Andamiro. From its first launch in South Korea in 1999, Andamiro released different versions of the famous video dance game, with the noticeable improvements on stepchart accuracy and level of difficulty, as well as the variety of songs used on it. As compared to the conventional Dance Dance Revolution, it uses 5 pads per player, with the same goal of stepping on the pads with precise accuracy. Some advanced levels require the use of all 10 pads to play the game.

Through the years, the PIU fever spread all over the globe, forming communities of dancers (and non-dancers), having the same interest of playing the game. Local and international  competitions blossomed, paving the way for different communities to merge as one.

Not a Couch Potato's Game

Gotta bring sexy back!

In contrast to most video games, PIU requires physical involvement: stepping, jumping, running (and sometimes break dancing) to accomplish each level. Players are generally categorized in to two groups: the crazy monsters speeders, who are more inclined in playing difficult stepcharts of the game, and the show-offs freestylers, or those that do choreography and/or break dancing as they step on the pads. This inclination to do actual dancing on the machine itself is what sets PIU from the rest – you can enjoy the game while you're stomping into the beat!

In other a perfect way of doing exercise the fun way, especially people who are not born athletic, like me. Playing with friends is how I started with Pump It Up five years ago, and up until now, I still find time to break some sweat with this awesome game. It just started as a group joke – to see who sucks at eye-feet coordination, but it eventually led to a healthy way of spending my free time. All those hours spent on sweating out definitely paid off. After several months, I became a true-blooded speeder, and after a year of playing PIU, I managed to lose about 50 lbs of my weight, which is really life-changing. How I ended up gaining those 50 lbs back and how I will go about losing weight a second time ihall be discussed in another blog entry. Hopefully.

Along with the physical exercise involved with the game, PIU also trains the brain to function a lot faster and accurate than usual. My patience, as well as my determination, really improved after I started this activity. for me, this is a total workout of mind and body.

Never Say Never! (Not JB's Song!)

Like in any sport, or game, the quitter is always the one that loses. If played moderately, Pump It Up can be a way to express one's dancing skills, and at the same time a form of regular exercise. You'll never know what's in it for you, unless you try. If this is really not meant for you, try to look for another sport or activity that will develop you as a person. 

Don't just seat there  – move it! Life is too precious to be spent in front of the computer screen all-day long.

[OLD] The Titanium Advantage

NOTE: This article was written almost a year ago. I was too lazy didn't have the time to publish this last year. :)


The World Wide Web-- a vast collection of thoughts, ideas, facts, opinions, and even lies, stored in a digital format, leaving marks that may last forever. With its ever-changing visage—from the crude 2D graphics and font styles to the most sophisticated 3D-like user interfaces —it definitely changed the way we do everything. Dating, shopping, banking, emergency meeting—name it, the big Web has it.

Then VS Now

In this age of almost complete reliance to the Internet for day-to-day activities, it’s never been a surprise to anyone that it also polluted with a variety of web-based threats, not to mention how unique malware samples grow exponentially in a matter of minutes. For starters, the only threat we knew back then is a computer virus. Just a couple of decades ago, our “Virus Scientists” dealt with, of course, viruses. With 1700++ virus samples to work on, they were really up to the challenge of “killing viruses.”

Since then, the cycle create virus-kill virus- create new virus-kill new virus never stopped. With millions of viruses, worms, Trojan horses, spyware and other (insert word here)ware, We cannot just simply enter this virtual world with no weapons and armor. What are we supposed to do? Wait for Superman do all the hero-fighting-villain thingy?

Titanium 3.0: A Smart Choice

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Titanium 3.0 (crowd cheers)!

Trend Micro, a pioneer on “smart security solutions,” is back to amaze us once more with its new line of ultra fast, super duper light-weight antivirus programs. Named Titanium 3.0, protects you from web threats—even before it reaches you. Using the latest “in-the-cloud” Smart Protection Network infrastructure, customers enjoy a secure computing experience, sacrificing the littlest of your computer’s system resources.

Tailored Fit for You

Titanium 3.0 adapts to individual computing activities and behaviors, providing the right amount of protection to anyone using it. From basic computing protection, securing sensitive information, Titanium 3.0 can handle it. Just choose among these three products:

• Titanium AntiVirus+ provides basic protection against viruses and other malicious software.
• Titanium Internet Security gives you the power to decide on how, when and where your Internet connection is to be used, protecting the ones you care the most.
• Titanium Maximum Security is the total online protection and backup partner everyone’s wishing for.

Be Wise

In the end, we all have the power to choose what antivirus to use. It all goes down to choosing the right one for you, or else you might end up paying the price of being a malware victim (and most of the time it really is in the form of money, no pun intended). Don’t just take risks—calculate them first.

Crossroads

Where am I heading to?

*It's been almost two years since my last blog post. A lot of things happened during my 22 months of absence. I don't even think I still know how to write a blog, to be honest.

*I am now in the crossroads - must I decide to take a path that is rightfully mine? Should I look for greener pastures? Do I have to prove myself worthy before doing the things that I have in mind?

*Twitter is now my new avenue for reaching out to people; a one-liner post is easier to achieve than a full-length blog post. It has been my outlet all this time.

*I felt the need to go back to this part of me. So many unwritten thoughts, biding their time - waiting for the moment to be heard, to be noticed by people.

*Have I made a mark in this world? Has my existence ever been beneficial to anyone? Have I moved at least a person's life?

*Indecisiveness leads to procrastination, which further leads to things left undone. I must decide right at this moment. I must, I must.

*At the end of the day, it's all about commitment - with what you have, with what you want, and with what you're living for.

A Girl Talk with ALICE

Artificial Intelligence, or simply AI, is the science and engineering of making intelligent machines, especially intelligent computer programs. It aims to develop programs that resemble human reasoning or logic. Many online chatting programs that incorporate AI are available to online users. Examples of these programs are Cleverbot and ALICE.

ALICE, short for Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, is an online AI chat robot activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. ALICE was apparently “taught” by Dr. Richard S. Wallace. She (allow me to address her as a “she”) was conceived using open source programs and AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup Language) software. She is as free as air, because the ALICEbot machine and AIML are freely available under the terms of the GNU General Public License. She often says, “He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?”

What sets ALICE from other “talking” websites is that she projects a sort of human-like personality. She talks like a typical no-nonsense business woman with a bad attitude an incredible mind and expandable memory capacity. When you ask her a question, she responds accordingly. I think that she’s equipped with a search engine that she uses whenever she encounters a new entity or idea. According to her site, she uses AIML to form answers based from the user’s inputs. A normal conversation with ALICE is something that is worth trying. You’ll almost forget the fact that she’s a chat robot. Well, almost.

Unfortunately, there are still limitations with her capabilities. She understands basic colloquial language, but she tends to interpret things like a moron literally. She also asks stupid unnecessary questions (see the image below).But of course, it all goes down to the fact that you’re still getting human-like responses from a chat robot!

Although she may be a little bit slow left behind with current events (not recognizing who Barack Obama is) and restricted by language barriers (at the present, she only understands english, unlike Cleverbot), she really is a big improvement of previous AI applications. Another good thing is that there are hundreds of contributors around the globe, helping out in making ALICE the best chat bot.

Twenty years ago, one might think that having a decent conversation with a ‘smart robot’ is impossible. Now, ALICE has proved us wrong once again. Technology never ceases to falter; it won’t hurt us to expect that in the coming years, the idea of humans confessing their innermost problems to an ‘DR. Chatbot’ is already a reality. Better yet, brace yourselves for this wild but possible scenario. But for now, let’s enjoy ALICE’s company over a hot cup of Java applet coffee.

Wanna meet ALICE? Here's her link!

School: What On Earth Am I Doing Here?

Note: This is supposedly a drama story self-reflection paper I wrote for my subject Database Management System. I don't know if my written composition conforms to that of a reflection paper.

Scribble. Write. Erase. Scribble some more. It’s not as easy as it seems you know. Studying, I mean. It’s a big challenge, especially to those taking the long, treacherous road of engineering (no pun intended).

Growing up from a family with great financial shortcomings, I was trained early to learn how to get by with life in a different way. If I want something, I must work hard for it, in one way or another. My mom said that if I want to get the life I want, I must study hard. Consider education as a gift, she tells me, for it is something that many people cannot afford to experience, just because. Keeping Mom’s words in my thoughts and actions, I managed to stay this long to finish the race that started fifteen years ago, in a kindergarten school a couple of blocks away from our house.

“Once you've made up your mind, the only thing that separates you from your dream is your fear.”

Fifteen years of lecture writing, solving bacterial growth rate, memorizing the Periodic Table, differentiating blue from red, reciting Newton’s First Law of Motion, appointments with the guidance counselor, throwing crumpled paper on my seatmate, and struggling to survive yet another year of studying, not to mention saving up for the enormous school fees and expenses. So far, this is how I spent three-fourths of the time I have spent in this world (So far, OK?). It felt easy when you keep your future plans in mind, so as to give you the determination of finishing it up to the very last day of class. “Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius,” as Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr. said. This is, I believe, what sets me apart from most people. I dream what is high; I plan on what is higher; I do everything to achieve the highest. This attitude has helped me cross various obstructions and obstacles I have faced.

“Once you've made up your mind, the only thing that separates you from your dream is your fear.” True enough, it is the fear of the unknown that caught me off guard, occasionally. Needless to say, I was really doing well in school, modesty aside. But as I encountered problems left and right, there came a time that I considered education as more of a burden than a gift that I always treasured; there were days when I went to school just for the sake of doing it. Those were times of superficial happiness. I was happy on the outside; a dark, frail Kiel carefully hides his true self inside. Instead of concerning myself with academic activities, I diverted my focus onto my personal struggles. Whining is something I am really good at. What I did all those times was to project a ‘Helpless Little Me’ effect, instead of working on it, as I would have originally done. It’s just that sometimes I feel that it’s just too much. Suddenly, I realized what is obvious from the: I must help myself from the inside, without expecting any help outside. I have made a fool of myself, I thought.

“To get the life that you want does not depend on what you have -- it’s what you do with what you have.”

With only one year left before I join the corporate world, I still feel the need of time- lots and lots of it. If only I had helped myself during those times. If only I had the strength and willingness to study further, to reinstate my once –high standards in life. As they say, it’s better to be late than never. I think I’ll just go with the ‘late’ thingy, than to suffer the consequences that ‘never’ can inflict upon my future. Using my remaining time in school would probably not compensate the times I have wasted, but I shall use it to redeem myself. As the TV commercial goes, “To get the life that you want does not depend on what you have -- it’s what you do with what you have.”

In the end, it all goes down to finishing the race I started. I may have stumbled ten times, but I must get up eleven times. If I must fall, I shall fall forward, to gain something from it. That’s how things work, right?